i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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