"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
