it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
