i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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