You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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