I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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