youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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