omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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