You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
