Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
