i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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