I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
