she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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