I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
