I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
