what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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