im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
