My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
