I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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