Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
