How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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