There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
