You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
