all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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