16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Every concussion has its silver lining
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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