roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
