How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
