I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
