If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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