This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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