And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
