Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
