What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
