Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
