He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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