imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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