Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
