she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
