u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
