Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
