No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
