Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
