Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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