This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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