No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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