Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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