Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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