Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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