I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
