I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
