it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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