So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
