Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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