I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
