We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
